The Appeal of Authoritarianism
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"You WILL be assimilated. Resistance is futile."
[18-Oct-2024] Well, it's about three weeks until the results of the 2024 election will be written into the history books. And the good news is that, after November 5, I get to go back to being "just another Libertarian loser" as if that's something to be ashamed of.
"Sprawling on the fringes of the city in geometric order, an insulated border in between the bright lights and the far, unlit unknown."
I mean, let's be real for a moment: decision-making is exhausting. From what to eat for breakfast to which movie to watch on Netflix, the pressure can be overwhelming. Thankfully, after November 5, both you and I are spared from that responsibility. Honestly, there’s something almost seductive about authoritarianism, that lovely political trend that says, “Why bother with all that pesky democracy when we can just have one person in charge?!” You know, because apparently the universe just needed one more person to micromanage our lives.
"Growing up, it all seems so one-sided; opinions all provided, the future pre-decided, detached and subdivided in the mass-production zone. Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone."
And let's not forget about the appeal of decisive leadership. There's a certain comfort in knowing that one person is calling the shots. No more indecision! No more committees debating where to order lunch! With authoritarianism, it’s like ordering takeout with a penis potato (i.e., a dictator): “We’re having pizza, and if you don’t like it, well … enjoy the kale!”
Now, Libertarians like me will probably try to tell you that authority stifles creativity, innovation, and, quite frankly, fun. We'll tell you that no one wants to be told what to do - except, of course for the 80% of the population who always seem to be okay with someone telling them exactly how to live their lives. “Please, sir, just tell me what to do, I’m tired of making decisions!” It’s like trying to convince a toddler that they really don’t want that third cookie.
"In the high school halls, in the shopping malls, conform or be cast out."
In the histories of many civilizations, there have always been regimes that create an "in-crowd" mentality that appeals to the human desire for belonging. Like college Greek life, it’s being part of a secret club where you get exclusive access to the "real" information and the ability to vilify anyone who disagrees with you. Just remember, the initiation rites may involve some questionable ethics!
You also get the delightful simplicity of an "us versus them" worldview. Forget nuanced discussions about policy or ethics; it’s all about rallying behind the idea that you’re part of the good guys fighting against the shadowy villains. It’s your favorite superhero franchise — except that the stakes are higher, and the special effects are significantly worse.
"In the basement bars, in the backs of cars, be cool or be cast out."
Let’s face it: there’s something captivating about a strong leader. Much like a movie hero who single-handedly defeats the bad guys while looking fabulous, they swagger in, take charge, and tell you what’s what. Like porn, the fantasy of it is undeniably appealing even though reality more often resembles a chaotic sitcom than a blockbuster film. Just don’t look too closely at the fine print!
"Any escape might help to smooth the unattractive truth that the suburbs have no charms to soothe the restless dreams of youth."
When dealing with authoritarians, nostalgia is the ultimate feel-good filter. Authoritarianism wraps itself in a cozy blanket of "the good old days," where you could rely on a Reagan or a Roosevelt to solve your problems and you didn’t have to worry about things like "consent" or "freedom of speech." Many people find themselves reminiscing about a time when life seemed simpler, ignoring the minor details like civil rights violations or that pesky "not being able to vote" thing. It’s like wanting to return to a childhood where your biggest concern was whether you could have dessert before dinner.
"Some will sell their dreams for small desires, or lose their race to rats, get caught in ticking traps, and start to dream of somewhere to relax their restless flight; somewhere out of the memory of lighted streets on a quiet night."
While the allure of authoritarianism can feel intoxicating, it’s crucial to remember that what seems like a cozy blanket now can quickly become a straitjacket. Sure, trading in your vote for a charismatic leader might seem tempting, but the reality often involves a hefty dose of regret — like realizing the cow pie you just ate isn’t actually "pie" at all.