Conservative Christians Wouldn't Vote For Jesus

[Adapted from a TikTok video by @RevTimoth]

For the last half-century, Texas has been Republican … well, except for that ONE time, but that was back the mid-70's, so we don't really count that one. Here in Texas, our Republican citizens advocate for laws that uphold "traditional family values," especially those rooted in Christianity. This harkens back to an imagined 1950’s TV-style Christian morality when people didn’t cheat on spouses, when no one was gay, and when certain people knew their place.

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but in Texas, there are few hundred thousand Christian churches (of varying denominations), I can tell you without a doubt in my mind that if the election were held between Jesus and Satan where Satan ran under the Republican ticket, Jesus would absolutely lose in a landslide.

"Pariah dogs and wandering madmen, barking at strangers and speaking in tongues."

Now, I'm not claiming that Jesus would run as a Democrat; he could be a member of the Green Party, or a Libertarian, or an independent. That's not the point. The point is that as long as he had an "R" beside his name on the ballot, conservative Christians would overwhelmingly vote for B.L.Z. "Bubba" Morningstar.

"It's a far cry from the world we thought we'd inherit. It's a far cry from the way we thought we'd share it."

To those who (like my ex-wife) don't believe anything I say and tell me to "prove it", here's my evidence:

Jesus would say "welcome all immigrants" [Matt 5:43-44; 25:35; 25:40; Luke 10:27; Rom 12:13; 13:10; Heb 13:1-3] and they would protest, "we can't have open borders!"
Jesus would say "render … unto Caesar" [Matt 22:21] and they would protest, "Jesus worships the government, and would raise our taxes!"
They would point to the examples of Jesus's love, tolerance, and not judging [Matt 7:1; John 8:7,11; Luke 6:37] and call it D.E.I. (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion).
They'd see him heal the sick for free [Matt 4:23-24, 8:3, 10:1, 8] and ask, "Who's going to pay for that? I paid MY medical bills, why should I have to pay for someone else's?"
They'd come up to him on the campaign trail and ask, "Hey, you that guy runnin' against Bubba?" to which he would say "I am He." [John 18:6] and they'd say, "Hey now, we don't want them pronouns around here."
They'd point to him feeding the masses [Matt 14:13-21] and call it socialism, saying, "We shouldn't be giving handouts" and "if you want to eat, you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and not depend on the government."
They would claim that Jesus is against abortion and gays, and Jesus would say, "Well, I'm Jesus and I've never said a word about either of those" and they'd exclaim, "Jesus has gone 'woke'!"
They'd point to pictures of Jesus teaching children and scream, "SEE? This is what they want! Grown men in dresses reading to kids, indoctrinating our precious children with their sick agenda!"

You cannot reasonably convince me that this would not happen.

"You can almost see the current flowing. You can almost see the circuits blowing."

Conservative Christians would literally (and overwhelmingly) put Satan into office over Jesus as long as Satan had an "R" beside his name on the ballot and then, without any hint of irony, state outright, "we've got to get Jesus back into people's lives."

I am also fairly certain that they would look at everything that is written above and state, "We're not actually against any of that. We're just against the government being a part of it," but they also want religion in government because (according to them) "America was intended to be a Christian nation".

"A whirlwind life of faith and betrayal, rise in anger, fall back and repeat. Slow degrees on the dark horizon, a full moon rising lays ever at your feet."

Their hypocrisy is that they don't any of the teachings of the Jesus that they worship actually taught because the only way that you can be a conservative Christian is if you vote for the people who do the opposite of what Jesus said to do.

How else can you explain why their most preferred piece of jewelry is a cross, which Jesus died on? These are the same people who would be standing under the cross when Jesus told the thief, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” [Luke 23:43} and mutter to themselves, "they should have just complied."