Mutual Onanism [28-Jun-2024]

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Today is June 28, and last night, the cable news outlet CNN hosted ... well, I hesitate to even call it a "debate" because that would set the bar for debate so low that all anyone would have to do to succeed in a real debate is to step over the resulting trench. This was not "news" despite it being broadcast by a relatively reputable news outlet: it was yet another predictably bad episode of "Mutual Onanism".

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but it seems to me that both the DNC and the GOP are so out of touch with real Americans that the only thing they have to offer in 2024 is "2020: Round 2". I will grant you that literally no one believed that last night's event would be an epitome of statesmanship or oratory. There was nothing - absolutely nothing - about that event that inspired anything other than disillusionment and disappointment in both candidates. And even though they are both excellent journalists, the debate rules effectively made each moderator completely ineffectual.

I may not have been a "poster-worthy" Marine during my time in the service, but I am at least familiar with a number of various types of leadership and I can tell you "without reservation or purpose of evasion" that, based on their conduct last night, neither of these men are qualified to lead a kindergarten parade. And yet, these two tired old men will presumably be foisted on "We, the People" as the only choices worthy of our vote in November by the Old Parties. For at least 50 years, neither of the Old Parties has really cared about "who best represents out ideas and ideals?" as much as they have cared about "who can win against X in November?"

We deserve better than this. You deserve better than his. But what doesn't surprise me at all is the idea that the stuffed-shirts in the Old Parties hope and pray that American voters are exactly as vacuous and vapid as they believe you to be. After all, unlike the rest of us, the stuffed-shirts only seem to look at social trends to gauge your interest (or disinterest) on specific topics. And when they believe that the vast majority of our voting-eligible population can name their favorite actor or athlete but cannot name the vice-president, it's no large stretch of the imagination for the Old Parties to believe that American voters really are stupid enough to vote for their feckless candidates.

I want to believe that Americans are much more intelligent than the Old Parties think you are, but that's because I look at voting statistics. For the past eleven voting cycles, voter-eligible turnout has only exceeded 60% three times. that means that for the past 40 years, more than 40% of eligible voters who could have voted, didn't. Why? Either because they thought that their vote wouldn't matter, or because they claim that they are not interested in politics without realizing that everything in their lives is dependent on politics. But even with those excuses, the people who didn't vote seem to be much more intelligent than the vast majority of people who will only vote for one of the Old Party candidate because they "are the only ones who have a chance of winning."

So, after last night's "performance", I will echo Jon Stewart's comments in saying that I believe that these men should be taking performance-enhancing drugs - as many and as much as they can get for as long as their geriatric bodies can handle them - whatever magical drugs will keep their brains in gear, improve their lucidity, and their ability to solve problems. And if there are no mental enhancing drugs for these candidates, then we all need some of the recreational ones because the mere idea of voting for either of these men is simply insane.

So, if you still want to vote for one of those tired old men after last night's feeble attempts at "national leadership", all I have to say about it is "caveat emptor" because, just like it was in 2016 and 2020, you only get what you pay for.